Feeble Attempts Jeffrey Brown

Today I went to the art museum. I flashed my ID to walk right in at no charge, giving me an inflated sense of naughty coolness. There was a new painting up by a French painter I’d never heard of. I liked it. There were hundreds of children there learning what art is really all about. I was standing too close to the David Shrigley drawings and set off an alarm. All the security guards there are minorities. Cauciasians are allowed to work in the gift shop, or as curators, or as ticket agents. I was looking at a nude by Sargent, but the security guard was right there, and I was afraid of what she might think about me staring at this nude. But I came back and looked at it anyway. I wanted to see the special exhibition Bonnard’s, but I wasn’t sure if I’d have to pay to get in. I thought the frames were a tad bit over the top.

Then I went home and broke my roommate’s leg.